4.11

it would hurt
to be the last woman standing
in this place that God
seems to have forgotten 
one day
I’m gonna open the door
and walk out
doesn’t matter
if the door closes back
or not

# NewWorkinProgression

(c) 2016 wyh

New Book! 7 Blocks...And Two Stories Up

Hi Everyone,

I've been away from this page for awhile, and here's why:

My first book of poetry, 7 Blocks...And Two Stories Up is officially published! It's about my journey from Los Angeles to Brooklyn while finding a sense of place, with all of the adventures in between. It's available through my CreateSpace e-store, also on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. To find out more about the book and place an order, please visit my page at:

https://www.createspace.com/5947213

Thank you for your support!

news

like mother
like daughter
a flower dies
the bud follows
no more blooms today

Save the Date! January 8. 2014

Save the Date: January 8, 2015...I will be the featured poet at Barrio Poetix
La Marqueta East 118 & Park Avenue, New York, NY 8 PM - 10PM
Free Open Mic! No cover
Indoors, Puerto Rican food will be available for sale by El Caldero de Nellie!
Don't be afraid of the cold...come out to play!
Sponsored by Melissa Mark-Viverito, Speaker NYC Council and Acacia Network..

Today , , ,

Today . . .

I will remember you

I will open my journal

I will write about you

I will get distracted

I will write about something else

I will get bored

I will go back to writing about you

I will cry

I will get angry

I will rip the pages from my book and throw them away

I will call you

I will let the phone ring

I will say nothing when you answer

I will hang up

I will take a walk in the rain

I will think of you

I will go back to my journal

I will write about you

I will save it this time

Heart of a Woman (For Maya Angelou)

On Friday
for only $1
she called to me through her book
sitting on the shelf  alive waiting to be heard
what a price for such wisdom
On Monday
I heard her message
through the pages of her story
amazed and intrigued
leaving the book resting on a red pillow
not knowing that on Wednesday
she would be gone
and although we never met
I’m glad she spoke to me all the way to page 106
and I listened

Mornings

On dark mornings

I layer my delicate frame in silk and linen garments

that shield me from the eyes of ravenous wolves

in sheep’s clothing

whose predatory instincts trail the scent of fresh femininity

causing them to commit crimes against womanhood.

With no man to protect me from their heinous ways 

As I walk through empty alleys and streets where they lie in wait for me

I hide in the shadow of the Almighty

becoming invisible

only the light that surrounds me is seen

and I go on my way without fear

knowing that I am safe.

                   

 

I Could

I could bloom here

in this concrete soil

with its steel skyline

and endless waves of people walking the pavement

going underground to get from point A to B to C

sometimes stepping on one another

without saying excuse me

making no eye contact

but connected at the root

I could get used to climbing several flights of old stairs

crossing the street to do laundry

alongside big butt menopausal women with graying locs

people cursing each other

in front of China King

and Ma’s old stoop

watching the cat who sleeps curled up in the barber shop window

in the afternoon sun

I could bloom here

in the cold

like a winter rose without thorns

trusting the universe to protect me

from danger

in this concrete soil

rising

poet

sometimes i go through the motions

numb to the painful devastation

that has become my life

it’s easier to get through the day

without thinking

or feeling

they call it an emotional block

but i call it survival…

in this jungle

where I could easily become the prey

of a predator

i become invisible

speaking only when spoken to

answering when necessary

writing whenever possible

breathing through my ink

watching the world from behind paper

where no one can see me

or run from my pain

they only snap

and ask for more

i give it to them freely

because they don’t understand

that my words

are healing me

so i can live

and move on.

Fall

I love when the season changes
to fall
with all of its colors
and layers...
stripes
plaids
leggings and boots
on running feet
hats and scarves
wrapped around to keep warm
in a cold world
where nobody cares
a coat is my best friend at anytime
it waits for me
holding me close in the rain
at midnight
deep pockets keep secrets
loose change
and a house key
fall with its dried leaves
exposed twigs
and open sky
everything moves faster
but I wish people would slow down
and enjoy the beauty of the daytime
orange to amber to brown
the colors of life
the colors of the earth
the colors of me
in the fall

Inspired Word in the East Village NYC

Me..reading some of my work at Mike Geffner's Inspired Word Open Mic in New York...

Domestic Violence PSA ... Get Out!

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month...but violence at the hands of intimate partners goes on every day. Please watch this video and feel free to pass it on...and if you or anyone you know is in an abusive situation, please get to a safe place.

Intimate Partner Violence can take many different forms. It involves physical, emotional, mental, economical, and sexual abuse. At first, the control and manipulation your partner uses can be very subtle. The abuse can and will increase over time.
  
Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:

• Does your partner continually criticize what you wear, what you say, how you act and how you look?
• Does your partner humiliate or make fun of you in public places and social situations?
• Does your partner often call you insulting and degrading names?
• Do you feel like you need to ask permission to go out and see your friends and family?
  Do you turn down invitations to be with your friends and family because your partner will be angry at you for going with them?
• Do you feel you need to apologize to people or make up excuses for your partner’s behavior?
• Do you feel like no matter what you do, everything is always your fault?
• If you’re late getting home, does your partner harass you about where you were and who you were with?
• Has your partner threatened to hurt you or the children if you leave?
• Does your partner force you to have sex whether you want to or not?
• Are you afraid to say no to sex?
• Have you been repeatedly accused of flirting or having sex with others?
• Does your partner restrict you from getting a job or going to school?
• Has your partner hit you or threatened to hit you?
• Do you ever explain away bruises, cuts, or other injuries as results of how “clumsy” you are?
• Do you feel nervous or afraid for your safety when your partner becomes angry?
• Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?
• Are you frightened by your partner’s violence towards other people or animals?
• Do you change your behavior or “walk on egg shells,” depending on your partner’s mood?
• Do you ever think “If only I was prettier,” or “If only I cleaned the house better,” or “If only I had kept the children quieter,” etc., “then my partner wouldn’t have been angry?”
• Has your partner ever pushed, shoved, kicked or slapped you?

If you answered "yes" to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

How Can I Tell If My Partner Is A Batterer?

Does your partner have any of these traits? If he does there is a good chance that he is a batterer. This list is to give you a guideline to the signs of a potential batterer. Batterers’ personality traits are not limited to these.

Does your partner:

• Have low self-esteem?
• Lack knowledge of assertiveness skills?
• Have few close friends?
• Become obsessively jealous?
• Have a history of failed relationships?
• Have a problem with authority figures?
• Come from an abusive family?
• Become very possessive?
• Use violence to get rid of tension?
• Control finances?
• State that he must know where you are at all times?
• Leave messages on your answering machine, voice mail, or text obsessively if you are not home when he calls?
• Check up on you to see if you’ve gone where you said you were going? (Follows you)
• Have a bad temper or get angry easily?

 How Dangerous Is My Abusive Partner?
Some batterers are life-endangering. It is possible to evaluate whether a batterer is likely to kill his partner or other family members. The following are indicators to be used in making an assessment of the batterer’s potential to kill. Please pay close attention to the characteristics listed here:

• Threats of homicide or suicide: The batterer who has threatened to kill himself, his partner, the children or a relative must be considered extremely dangerous.
• Fantasies of homicide or suicide: The more the batterer has developed a fantasy about who, how, when and/or where to kill, the more dangerous he may be. The batterer who has previously acted out part of a homicide or suicide fantasy may be invested in killing as a viable solution to his problem.

Please don't take any of these things lightly. If any of these things even seem to be going on, it's time to get away. It could save your life.

If you are in danger, call 9-1-1. If you can get to a safe place, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1(800) 799-7223...or 1 (800) 799-7223 (TTY) For more information, please go to: www.thehotline.org/get-help if you can use a computer that cannot be tracked by the person who is harming you.

          
*Source: Women's Shelter Program of San Luis Obispo County
http://www.womensshelterslo.org/get-informed/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship

I Could…

I could bloom here

in this concrete soil

with its steel skyline

and endless waves of people walking the pavement

or going underground to get from point A to B to C

sometimes stepping on one another

making no eye contact

but connected at the root

I could get used to climbing several flights of old stairs

crossing the street to do laundry

alongside big butt women

with graying locs

people cussing each other out

in front of China King

and Ma’s old stoop

watching the cat who sleeps curled up in the barber shop window

in the afternoon sun

I could bloom here

in the cold

like a winter rose without thorns

trusting the universe to protect me

from danger

in this concrete soil

rising…

My Other Life

The other shoes you could have walked in

instead of the ones you chose

could have taken you to the ends of the world

taking bold steps

instead of small ones

walking through real seasons

and not phases of the whims of the moon

those other shoes were waiting

but you were afraid to try them on

too afraid of what others would say

not feeling good enough

strong enough

just not enough

settling to wear shoes that didn’t fit your life

walking in hallways you were never meant to travel

and cutting off your own air

but you still have a chance to get new shoes

and walk in the snow and rain

maybe the beach too

pick a pair and try them on

jump, run, dance, skip

in your new shoes

time has passed but it’s never too late

don’t be so hard on yourself

if you don’t try you never know

if those other shoes you haven’t tried

will fit today.

i would...

 

I would follow you anywhere

be your queen in shining armor

ready to defend your honor

when you think no one has your back

in this upside down world

riding on my horse ladystyle blazin’

like maid marian

with locs flowing behind me

coming to your rescue

in medieval fashion

as you gaze in wonder at my bravery

your wonderful wonder woman who

knows everything about you

keeping your heart

safely in my hands

and I know I’m dreaming

but just in case you wanted to know

I would follow you anywhere

be your best friend

who stays in your corner

always having a listening ear

and a shoulder to rest on

stay at your side no matter what

your ride or die chick

your honey over the moon

and the stars

your forever and a day

yes

I would follow you anywhere

if you would only

ask...

Wisdom From an Old Woman in a Window

 

scattered hopes

and shattered dreams

her life passing before her

in milliseconds

remembering time wasted

on worthlessness

too many tasks left undone

and hopeless regrets

if she could do it all again

it would be different

no one would distract or discourage her

or take her off the path

she would stand up

and speak up

even if they didn’t respect or support

or validate her purpose

exchanging her life for theirs

and watching them all prosper and proliferate

at her expense

if you and she were to ever meet

she would tell you

to live your life

sing your own song

and dreams are never too big

they just need to be relocated

don’t stay too long

and don’t leave too soon

always have $20 hidden someplace

where no one else can find it

and always find time to pray

before sunrise

watch your friends

and let God watch your enemies

because sometimes they are identical twins

follow your heart

and listen to what it tells you

because it will never lie

drink half your weight in water every day

and fast every once in a while

to keep your soul balanced

be kind to stay cats

they keep the mice in check

and dance in the rain

when it pours

the grass is green on your side too

and it grows faster when you don’t stand on it

be grateful for small things

and put big things in their place

learn from your mistakes

without repeating them

and most of all

find another young one

and teach her how to be

the best that she can become

because of what you learned from me. . .

 

natural

when strange men

touched my afro

i felt helpless

and wanted to run away

it was so violating

to feel hands in my hair

that I didn’t want

fondling and feeling

through my curls and kinks

they said it was so uncommon these days

to see a woman with a natural look

and they were fascinated

couldn't help themselves to bother asking my name

or where i came from

they just wanted to get off

in my hair

one of them wanted to know

if it was virgin

because he had never had one of those before

the other one said

that he was turned on by the smell of coconut oil

it reminded him of being on a deserted island

with just me and him

i didn’t answer

just kept quiet

hoping they would go away

but inside i was angry

wondering why a woman

has to always be subjugated with this brutality

and can’t be herself

without somebody

wanting to touch

feel

and taste

without permission

heart to heart

perhaps he lacks the courage to love
or maybe his emotions are unavailable
finding out takes too much energy
... to waste
on recycling love that goes nowhere
giving your heart away
to an empty space
an unfeeling wall
that will only make you bitter
why do you continue
to offer yourself
as disposable…
a throwaway girl whose worth is in her panties
when his only interest
is in what they contain
he doesn’t think of you
as a life companion
you’re nothing more than a whore
he will never pay for
wake up…
smell the coffee
and realize
your value
is more
than just sex
your sacred space
is only for the one who will love you
completely
and not to be given away
for free
for attention
or out of desperation
shake yourself from the dust
see yourself as a queen
stop settling for crumbs
find the whole loaf
and sit at the table
with your king

woman

 

there’s a woman who sits on the sidewalk

surrounded by her belongings

eating last night’s pizza from a greasy box

she doesn’t seem to care how close she is to the curb

rolling her eyes at the exhaust the buses leave behind

as they hurriedly turn the corner and come to a stop barely grazing her left hip

another woman passes by and gives her $2 that she quickly hides in one of her pockets

for safe keeping from desperate eyes

what has numbed her to danger

on a Thursday morning at rush hour when she could be anywhere else

having breakfast with her man

or taking her kids to school

but she’s here

with last night’s pizza that somebody left in the trash

and there’s nothing better

except to remember life

before living became so damn complicated

the sidewalk is an escape

from what was just too much to deal with in a day

out here it’s safer

than being indoors

and although most would disagree

i feel her

Growing Pains..palindrome

 

Angry feeling

spiraling downwards towards

moments of cycling viciously

spent wasting time remembering

past pains held inside …

her rejected neglected teenager still unloved

misunderstood sometimes motherless child crying running fast

forgetting and growing into drama and

womanhood without

Father

without womanhood

and drama into growing and forgetting

fast running crying child motherless sometimes misunderstood

unloved still teenager neglected rejected her

inside held pains past…

remembering time wasting spent

viciously cycling of moments

towards downwards spiraling

feeling Angry